My birthday is coming in a few weeks... September 9, for those who couldn't remember. I am always excited for my birthday. Just like a little kid, I get the anxious nerves the night before, and I always seem to have a smile on my face the whole day. Even a few years back, I was pregnant with Lucy, still sick too, and on my birthday, I got to drive into Portland to have three stitches taken out of Bosston's forehead. I was irritated that it was so simple, and that I could've easily done it myself, but nonetheless, I smiled.
Nick has always done really well on my birthdays:
19th: took a goldfish cracker carton, and placed a simple, yet pretty, tennis bracelet in the carton...
20th: awesome directors chair, red suede jacket
21st: birthstone ring
22nd: bike
23rd: day at the spa
24th: makeover day: new haircut and some new clothes
25th: money, always a good gift
26th: day to myself
27th: new camera
28th: cake decorating classes
So, he is very thoughtful, and he listens. He knows me!!!
So, now that it is only a few weeks away, I wonder what he has up his sleeve.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Lucy, please don't touch
So, last night I was in the middle of typing a blog, when my dear sweet Lucy walked over and hit the Esc key. Yep, you guessed it, the entire blog GONE. So, with frustration, I closed the blog, and now here I am. I creatively titled this post, Lucy, please don't touch. I find myself saying that a lot, especially, when I am blogging. You would think I would've learned and that I would just not blog while she is awake, but I still do... She is the one that needs to learn.
So, the summer is quickly fading, and this brings happy and sad emotions. Happy, because that means school, and routine, and then sad for the very same reasons. I have loved this summer so much. We had a great vacation, I went to girls camp, had my sister come and stay, swam with my kids, ate free lunch at the school, spent Fridays with Nick, and all in all had a great summer.
The kids took their training wheels off, Bosston is using the toilet, Lucy is getting crazier by the second, and we just keep moving and moving. I went to the doctor the other day. Blah, sometimes, once a year, it really stinks being a girl. I also had the doctor check my left breast. Again, this is my blog, so yeah, I am putting it all out there. I hadn't felt anything out of the ordinary, but I had been experiencing some pain, and to me, it just seemed larger. For women who are busty, they just hurt sometimes, but this was a different kind of pain. I wish I was one of those ladies who "bought" boobs, but for me, sadly, even at a young age, I have been cursed, and four babies later, these puppies are nothing but a bother. So, pretty much the doctor told me to buy a really good bra, and follow up in 6 weeks. Okay... so, I went to find a bra and it just erks me to no end how it is so hard to find full figured bras, and why or why can't there be two of the same. I did find one, an Olga brand, on sale too! I just wish they would've had another so I could have two really good bras, so I am still on the lookout. If anyone has any suggestions of bras they have used and loved, please let me... especially if you are busty.
So, also this weekend, we headed up to Seattle. My friends, Holly and Bryce live up there, and we finally got together. It was good to see them. Seattle is pretty, but dirty. Portland is much cleaner and just more earth friendly. I love being "green" and Portland is very "green" This I must put in this blog.
Okay, last summer, I went to my 10 year high school reunion, and had a great time. I just have to say to my readers, I got death stares from some spouses. Ask any of my gal pals from high school, and they will tell you that I was just a fun person. I flirted with EVERYONE, and I just loved to be the center of attention. I had some crushes: Bob West, Dan Wells, Nick Reid, just to name a few, oh wait, James Patrick Carson III also. So, at the reunion, I caught up with all but Dan. Bob's girlfriend at the time could probably literally kill me... but she watched my like a hawk. HELLO, happily married and for crying out loud I had Lucy with me. Anyway, so this brings me to this weekend. Bryce's wife, super nice and cute gal, just kept watching Bryce and I as we talked. Bryce and I go way back, and there never was an attraction there. We were a puzzle, and we fit perfectly, but dating wise, not really. He dated some good friends of mine, and I just didn't want to play that FRIENDS game. He is still very dear to me, but come on, have some faith and trust in your spouse. It just made me laugh. He has a really cute daughter, and they have done really well.
I just had to put that there.
Ladies, I love you as readers, and as friends. Thank you and happy reading.
So, the summer is quickly fading, and this brings happy and sad emotions. Happy, because that means school, and routine, and then sad for the very same reasons. I have loved this summer so much. We had a great vacation, I went to girls camp, had my sister come and stay, swam with my kids, ate free lunch at the school, spent Fridays with Nick, and all in all had a great summer.
The kids took their training wheels off, Bosston is using the toilet, Lucy is getting crazier by the second, and we just keep moving and moving. I went to the doctor the other day. Blah, sometimes, once a year, it really stinks being a girl. I also had the doctor check my left breast. Again, this is my blog, so yeah, I am putting it all out there. I hadn't felt anything out of the ordinary, but I had been experiencing some pain, and to me, it just seemed larger. For women who are busty, they just hurt sometimes, but this was a different kind of pain. I wish I was one of those ladies who "bought" boobs, but for me, sadly, even at a young age, I have been cursed, and four babies later, these puppies are nothing but a bother. So, pretty much the doctor told me to buy a really good bra, and follow up in 6 weeks. Okay... so, I went to find a bra and it just erks me to no end how it is so hard to find full figured bras, and why or why can't there be two of the same. I did find one, an Olga brand, on sale too! I just wish they would've had another so I could have two really good bras, so I am still on the lookout. If anyone has any suggestions of bras they have used and loved, please let me... especially if you are busty.
So, also this weekend, we headed up to Seattle. My friends, Holly and Bryce live up there, and we finally got together. It was good to see them. Seattle is pretty, but dirty. Portland is much cleaner and just more earth friendly. I love being "green" and Portland is very "green" This I must put in this blog.
Okay, last summer, I went to my 10 year high school reunion, and had a great time. I just have to say to my readers, I got death stares from some spouses. Ask any of my gal pals from high school, and they will tell you that I was just a fun person. I flirted with EVERYONE, and I just loved to be the center of attention. I had some crushes: Bob West, Dan Wells, Nick Reid, just to name a few, oh wait, James Patrick Carson III also. So, at the reunion, I caught up with all but Dan. Bob's girlfriend at the time could probably literally kill me... but she watched my like a hawk. HELLO, happily married and for crying out loud I had Lucy with me. Anyway, so this brings me to this weekend. Bryce's wife, super nice and cute gal, just kept watching Bryce and I as we talked. Bryce and I go way back, and there never was an attraction there. We were a puzzle, and we fit perfectly, but dating wise, not really. He dated some good friends of mine, and I just didn't want to play that FRIENDS game. He is still very dear to me, but come on, have some faith and trust in your spouse. It just made me laugh. He has a really cute daughter, and they have done really well.
I just had to put that there.
Ladies, I love you as readers, and as friends. Thank you and happy reading.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
I'm back
But only for a short time. Our family is getting ready to emabark on a two week vacation. With that said, I will quickly tell you, my loyal readers, that I bought a pair of shorts and capris three weeks ago.. both size 16. The capris, I already need a belt, soon a smaller size, and my shorts, second time wearing them, are feeling really loose around my waist and legs. This is just a great feeling for me. I love to shop and it looks like I have a lot more shopping coming my way. Thanks for reading... Heidi
Thursday, June 3, 2010
best one yet!
Pineapple Teriyaki Porkchops!! This was what we had for dinner last night. I am just amazed at how SIMPLE all of these recipes are. Rachel Ray and her 30 min meals got nothin' on the this cookbook!!
4 4oz pork chops, fat triimmed and about 3/4" thick
1tsp garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste
8 tsp of honey teriyaki sauce.. not just teriyaki, but HONEY teriyaki
4 slices of canned pineapple
preheat broiler, and spray pan.
Light salt and pepper, and garlic powder both sides of meat. Place in oven 3"below broiler, and crack the oven door. Cook for 2 min, turn, brush with sauce, cook another 3 min. Then place slice pineapple on top and cook for another 5 min or until meat is cooked and no longer pink inside.
We served ours with rice, and peas. I added flavor to the peas by melting 1 TB of cheese to be melted on top. So good, and so far, the best.
Here is a trick and some might already know this. I dish all of our food before I put the plates on the table. So, when I set the table, I only set silverware and cup. Then, once the food is placed on each plate, I call the crew to dinner. It has worked great, because, the leftovers are no longer in front of you tempting to snack more. I also now have it down to a science to cook for the family, plus one for Nick's lunch. He packs it up while cleaning up the kitchen. I know, I know, it is 2010 and we shouldn't have to dish the food for them, but I have realized that we all need a little help and this is my way of helping. The food is cool enough for the kids to eat right after the blessing, and I don't have to spend the first five minutes dishing plates, I can eat just as quickly as they can. It makes clearing the table go by faster and with less fighting:) If the food is cold, then they will learn to COME to the TABLE, when I say, "DINNER IS READY!!!"
happy journey
4 4oz pork chops, fat triimmed and about 3/4" thick
1tsp garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste
8 tsp of honey teriyaki sauce.. not just teriyaki, but HONEY teriyaki
4 slices of canned pineapple
preheat broiler, and spray pan.
Light salt and pepper, and garlic powder both sides of meat. Place in oven 3"below broiler, and crack the oven door. Cook for 2 min, turn, brush with sauce, cook another 3 min. Then place slice pineapple on top and cook for another 5 min or until meat is cooked and no longer pink inside.
We served ours with rice, and peas. I added flavor to the peas by melting 1 TB of cheese to be melted on top. So good, and so far, the best.
Here is a trick and some might already know this. I dish all of our food before I put the plates on the table. So, when I set the table, I only set silverware and cup. Then, once the food is placed on each plate, I call the crew to dinner. It has worked great, because, the leftovers are no longer in front of you tempting to snack more. I also now have it down to a science to cook for the family, plus one for Nick's lunch. He packs it up while cleaning up the kitchen. I know, I know, it is 2010 and we shouldn't have to dish the food for them, but I have realized that we all need a little help and this is my way of helping. The food is cool enough for the kids to eat right after the blessing, and I don't have to spend the first five minutes dishing plates, I can eat just as quickly as they can. It makes clearing the table go by faster and with less fighting:) If the food is cold, then they will learn to COME to the TABLE, when I say, "DINNER IS READY!!!"
happy journey
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
documentary
We just signed up for Netflix, and I am amazed at how many movies are out there that I have not seen, or heard of. The first on the not seen list that I wanted to watch was "Super Size Me" All I can say is kudos to him for putting up with all that. I want to know how much money the guy wasted, not to mention how much fat and weight he gained. Anyway, I recommend it. It really gets your mind rolling on how much we use media to feed our kids. All the kids knew who Ronald McDonald was, but none of them knew who Jesus was... sad.
I am never eating McDonalds again!
I am never eating McDonalds again!
The alarm clock..
Why is it so hard to get out of bed in the morning? You would think that after so much time laying down, one would want to get up and stretch... today, was not that day. Nick had the alarm set for 4:15am, so he could get up and get a work out in before his day at work started. Luckily, for him, Chevron has a gym upstairs, and he is able to do that before. He was working out after, but I like for to come home asap, so now he goes in early, and I mean early.
So, there I was; snug as a bug in a rug. I did not want to move, so I told myself, I will just get up an hour later. Nick will kiss me good-bye, and I will just lay here for another hour. WRONG!!! I totally fell back to sleep, and I was sleeping good, because I rolled over, looked at the clock, and it said, 6:27... aaahhhh, I had to really JUMP out of bed, get Dasher up, fed, showered, dressed and to the bus. Our routine this morning was a little whacked, but we made it. Phew! Then after the bus, the house was still hush silent, I just decided to weed the garden instead of working out. I really hate Bob in the morning anyway:)
Yesterday, with it being a holiday, I was able to go for a ride in the morning. I love that I am able to go farther and ride longer periods of time, because I am getting stronger. The hill, or should I say slope, back to our home is getting easier. Today I made no bake cookies, one the of the greatest cookies EVER, and it is easy for me to just make them for the kids.... I love that I am getting stronger in every way!!!!
Nick should be home on time tonight, and I think I will go for a ride. I did the strength part, and planned on walking, but Mother Nature had other plans in store. I can ride in the rain, I can run in the rain, it's just that Bosston and Lucy, do not like the rain. I love healthy kids, and I do not want sick kids, so I will wait.....
On the menu tonight, Spirals and Meatballs. The meatballs are already made, and they smelled yummy while they were baking. I will include the recipe! I was noticing something this am while I was making the meatballs. I am a cook who just dumps, adds, and stirs. I "follow" a recipe, but usually end up doing what I feel like. I like to create things, add spice, and what not, but with these recipes, and our plan to see this to the finish, I have to measure, weigh, whip, fold, bake and add what it calls for, not what I like. So, this is a challenge in itself.... We will blog our way through the Biggest Loser Cookbook!!!!!!
Much love in our bloggin journey, Heidi
So, there I was; snug as a bug in a rug. I did not want to move, so I told myself, I will just get up an hour later. Nick will kiss me good-bye, and I will just lay here for another hour. WRONG!!! I totally fell back to sleep, and I was sleeping good, because I rolled over, looked at the clock, and it said, 6:27... aaahhhh, I had to really JUMP out of bed, get Dasher up, fed, showered, dressed and to the bus. Our routine this morning was a little whacked, but we made it. Phew! Then after the bus, the house was still hush silent, I just decided to weed the garden instead of working out. I really hate Bob in the morning anyway:)
Yesterday, with it being a holiday, I was able to go for a ride in the morning. I love that I am able to go farther and ride longer periods of time, because I am getting stronger. The hill, or should I say slope, back to our home is getting easier. Today I made no bake cookies, one the of the greatest cookies EVER, and it is easy for me to just make them for the kids.... I love that I am getting stronger in every way!!!!
Nick should be home on time tonight, and I think I will go for a ride. I did the strength part, and planned on walking, but Mother Nature had other plans in store. I can ride in the rain, I can run in the rain, it's just that Bosston and Lucy, do not like the rain. I love healthy kids, and I do not want sick kids, so I will wait.....
On the menu tonight, Spirals and Meatballs. The meatballs are already made, and they smelled yummy while they were baking. I will include the recipe! I was noticing something this am while I was making the meatballs. I am a cook who just dumps, adds, and stirs. I "follow" a recipe, but usually end up doing what I feel like. I like to create things, add spice, and what not, but with these recipes, and our plan to see this to the finish, I have to measure, weigh, whip, fold, bake and add what it calls for, not what I like. So, this is a challenge in itself.... We will blog our way through the Biggest Loser Cookbook!!!!!!
Much love in our bloggin journey, Heidi
the results
So, I must admit, we were a little leary of this recipe, mostly because, it is so simple and you add nothing to the meat. Surprisingly enough though they were pretty good. We ommited the mayo and just used mustard, it is one of those things that is pretty much calorie free, and well, you really needed the zing! Hope you to try them out.
Monday, May 31, 2010
BLT Burgers
4 strips turkey bacon
1 lb. 96% lean ground beef
4 whole grain buns ( I am using Sara Lee Sandwich thins)
1 c. fresh spinach
4 large tomato slices
4 TBSP low fat mayo
Preheat a grill to high heat. Place nonstick skillet over med high head and add bacon. Cook until done. 2-3 min per side. Remove and keep warm. Divide beef into 4 equal portions and shape into balls, packing as tightly as you can. Press each into a patty that is 1/2" larger than buns. Grill burgers for about 5 min per side until done. DO NOT smash burgers down while cooking. Grill buns if preferred. Assemble burgers and enjoy.
Makes 4
per serving 295 calories, 29g protein, 25g carbohydrate, 9g fat,(2g saturated), 70mg cholesterol, 4g fiber, 547mg sodium
We are serving these with a fruit smoothie. Let's see how it turns out!
1 lb. 96% lean ground beef
4 whole grain buns ( I am using Sara Lee Sandwich thins)
1 c. fresh spinach
4 large tomato slices
4 TBSP low fat mayo
Preheat a grill to high heat. Place nonstick skillet over med high head and add bacon. Cook until done. 2-3 min per side. Remove and keep warm. Divide beef into 4 equal portions and shape into balls, packing as tightly as you can. Press each into a patty that is 1/2" larger than buns. Grill burgers for about 5 min per side until done. DO NOT smash burgers down while cooking. Grill buns if preferred. Assemble burgers and enjoy.
Makes 4
per serving 295 calories, 29g protein, 25g carbohydrate, 9g fat,(2g saturated), 70mg cholesterol, 4g fiber, 547mg sodium
We are serving these with a fruit smoothie. Let's see how it turns out!
Biggest Loser Books
So, as you have read before, Nick and I joined the BLC. When we signed up, we got a free offer for THREE free books. They finally came, and tonight is the first night to use the cookbook. When they came last week, I already had my weekly menu planned, and groceries bought, so this week, we start fresh.
On the menu this week:
Monday: BLT burgers
Tuesday: Spirals and Meatballs
Wednesday: Pork Chops with pineapple
Thursday: Fish Tacos
Friday: BBQ bacon meatloaf
Saturday: BBQ bacon meatloaf sandwiches
Sunday: Baked Ziti
Sounds yummy huh? The best part is that ALL of the recipes are under 300 calories per serving, and for meatloaf night, a serving is TWO slices. That is crazy.
We are learning to read labels. The entire label. It makes a huge difference in deciding what we can and can not eat. We have also found that eating healthier is not cheap, but in the long run it is worth it. My body is cleansing, and I am feeling great. I wore shorts today because my ankles are getting smaller and that is one of my fav things. I like the ankle socks, tennis shoes, tight calf muscle and small ankles. It has been a good day.
I have also decided to leave the recipes of our menu on this blog too. Heaven forbid I start another blog, so for you readers, you will get Biggest Loser recipes for FREE. Just let me know you are a follower, and we can all inspire each other together. Much love to my readers........ mwah Heidi
On the menu this week:
Monday: BLT burgers
Tuesday: Spirals and Meatballs
Wednesday: Pork Chops with pineapple
Thursday: Fish Tacos
Friday: BBQ bacon meatloaf
Saturday: BBQ bacon meatloaf sandwiches
Sunday: Baked Ziti
Sounds yummy huh? The best part is that ALL of the recipes are under 300 calories per serving, and for meatloaf night, a serving is TWO slices. That is crazy.
We are learning to read labels. The entire label. It makes a huge difference in deciding what we can and can not eat. We have also found that eating healthier is not cheap, but in the long run it is worth it. My body is cleansing, and I am feeling great. I wore shorts today because my ankles are getting smaller and that is one of my fav things. I like the ankle socks, tennis shoes, tight calf muscle and small ankles. It has been a good day.
I have also decided to leave the recipes of our menu on this blog too. Heaven forbid I start another blog, so for you readers, you will get Biggest Loser recipes for FREE. Just let me know you are a follower, and we can all inspire each other together. Much love to my readers........ mwah Heidi
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Wednesday's weigh in is worth posting!!
So, saying, "NO" to treats and snacks is not easy, but after my weigh in today, it is worth it. I am down five pounds from last week, eight all together since joining the BLC. That's right, do the math, I am under 200 pounds. I am so excited right now. I have been really careful and watching EVERYTHING that I eat. I am going to bump up my workouts too, so I can get toned results. No flabby arms like we saw last night on the finale for me. This is just a great day. Last week, Nick weighed in and he is under 300. This is the smallest I have EVER seen him in our marriage and just knowing each other. Now we are progressing and shrinking at the same time. What a great feeling. Even on Sunday, a friend of mine noticed. I love it. My waist is coming back and this is not the end for me. Hip Hip Hooray!!!!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The Biggest Loser Club
America loves this show. We love to see people succeed. That is what the CLUB is all about. People helping people helping people succeed. Nick and I joined. Saturday. I had just come home from an amazing movie, and Nick greeted me with this, " I think we should sign up." It is not every day that my amazing husband admits he needs help, or that I was right, or that he is willing to put forth the money. So, I jumped on the opportunity. There we were. The two of us, who have been struggling on the inside, now admitting to each other, that hey, we are overweight. So, here goes. You want to know. I know it is just killing you. How much does she weigh? She talks about ALL the time, how much, how much? Starting weight: 205 pounds. I almost feel liberated just by saying it. Of course, as I type this, I have yet to hit publish. But I will. Please don't worry about commenting. If you read, great, if not, that's great too. I just need to say it. Nick and I have a new way of thinking. I know it is still early, but it is happening. I can feel the changes already. I love my husband, and I love him even more for making this journey with me.
So, as for the club. You sign up, pay your fee, get free books, log food, exercise, get hints, tips, and recipes. MOST of all, you hold yourself accountable for your progress.
I also started a little club. Just me, Robin, and Candi ( mom and sis in law) The three of us, overweight, yet determined to make ourselves healthier. I will share stories, recipes and other such things with them and with you. Together we can do this.
post script: My goal is 140 pounds. Been awhile, but I KNOW it is achievable.
do I hit post or not? hmmm..... JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please if you choose to comment, remember I do read my comments, so be supportive, please NO, oh my gosh, Heidi I had no idea. I am living with this weight, I see and feel it everyday, so please, again, if you comment, just say, good luck, or good job, you can do it... thanks again for reading... loves and hugs to all of you
Heidi
So, as for the club. You sign up, pay your fee, get free books, log food, exercise, get hints, tips, and recipes. MOST of all, you hold yourself accountable for your progress.
I also started a little club. Just me, Robin, and Candi ( mom and sis in law) The three of us, overweight, yet determined to make ourselves healthier. I will share stories, recipes and other such things with them and with you. Together we can do this.
post script: My goal is 140 pounds. Been awhile, but I KNOW it is achievable.
do I hit post or not? hmmm..... JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please if you choose to comment, remember I do read my comments, so be supportive, please NO, oh my gosh, Heidi I had no idea. I am living with this weight, I see and feel it everyday, so please, again, if you comment, just say, good luck, or good job, you can do it... thanks again for reading... loves and hugs to all of you
Heidi
Monday, May 10, 2010
This is my A HA moment!
So, Saturday night, Nick was at a movie with Dasher, and I had the other three kids at home with me. Well, first, Emmah wanted to go to the ward potluck, but I was hesitant to take the three of them without Nick, but I am a sucker, and we went anyway. I figured since I had already signed up and made a soup, I might as well take it. So, we went, and it was lame, but that has nothing to do with this post.
Okay, so once we got home from the potluck, Emmah put in a movie, and I cleaned up the house. I like to quickly go through the house Saturday night to make sure it is clean for Sunday. I HATE having a messy house on Sunday, it literally sends a bad vibe all through my bones, and I can not enjoy my day unless I get up and clean. So, anyway, the house was clean, and I wanted to get all the clothes ready. The kids are easy. They have a lot to choose from, but I was wanting them to wear their Easter outfits, and I was determined to hem Dasher's suit pants. (I did that the next morning) So, with the kids clothes ready to go, it was now my turn. I wish I could just open my closet and find all of these wonderful, colorful, beautiful, and fashionable clothes THAT FIT, but that is not what I found. All I found were clothes that didn't fit. I was really irritated with myself because I had let myself get this way. How in the heck did I let myself get this way? Why had I let myself get this way? I look at my day to day routine and it just didn't add up. So, I put my clothes back on their hangers, closed my closet and just decided right then and there that I was just not going to church. I would spend Mother's Day by myself. I could do that, I should do that.
Around 10:30, Nick and Dasher return from their movie, Dasher goes STRAIGHT to bed, and Nick, sensing something was wrong asked, "are you upset because I went to the movie and not the potluck?" (we will address that one later) I replied, "No, I am not upset about that." "Then what is wrong?" This is when I know I put Nick in a tough spot. I instantly burst into tears, and blubbered out these words, " I have nothing to wear and I am not going to church. None of my clothes fit; I have gained so much weight, and I just don't have anything to wear." Maybe a little dramatic, but if you have ever been there, then ladies, you know what I was going through.
Well, Nick hates to see me cry. He hates to see me sad. In the nine years we have been married, he has dedicated a part of himself to make ME happy. So, I knew I was crushing him when I just lost it. I asked him, "Now be honest, can you not see the weight gain?" I mean my face alone is ridiculous. Hence why you only ever see pics of my family and none of me. That's right I am the one BEHIND the camera. He honestly said, "no, I don't see it." Right then and there, my heart swelled a ton. This man, oh this man. My knight in shining armor, my one true love, sees me just the way he sees me. The mother of his four children, his best friend, and the hottie he fell in love with so many years ago. I only hope that all my lady friends find their knight too, if not already found.
Okay, back to the original meaning of this post. I know it is hard for some to read these posts of mine. My rantings we shall call them. I find this a place of outlet. My serenity. I feel good after I have done this. Blame it on the FOUR months of grey and rain, blame it on the sun not shining, we could play the blame game all night long, but I am here to admit to myself and readers that I am overweight. Wow, that feels good. No more hiding behind layering pieces, or jackets. No more saying, well on Monday I will start, let me have my last supper. I need to change, and not just for the better, but change everything. I need and want to be there for my children. I need and want to be able to run a flight of stairs, and maybe even run a race someday. I need and want to throw my fat girl clothes away. I don't want to do this because everyone else is, I want to do this beause I want to do this. So, I will be honest and accountable. I will make this happen.
ps I did go to church, but I really and truly would have rather spent the day outside soaking up the sun that made his appearance for mommies day.
Okay, so once we got home from the potluck, Emmah put in a movie, and I cleaned up the house. I like to quickly go through the house Saturday night to make sure it is clean for Sunday. I HATE having a messy house on Sunday, it literally sends a bad vibe all through my bones, and I can not enjoy my day unless I get up and clean. So, anyway, the house was clean, and I wanted to get all the clothes ready. The kids are easy. They have a lot to choose from, but I was wanting them to wear their Easter outfits, and I was determined to hem Dasher's suit pants. (I did that the next morning) So, with the kids clothes ready to go, it was now my turn. I wish I could just open my closet and find all of these wonderful, colorful, beautiful, and fashionable clothes THAT FIT, but that is not what I found. All I found were clothes that didn't fit. I was really irritated with myself because I had let myself get this way. How in the heck did I let myself get this way? Why had I let myself get this way? I look at my day to day routine and it just didn't add up. So, I put my clothes back on their hangers, closed my closet and just decided right then and there that I was just not going to church. I would spend Mother's Day by myself. I could do that, I should do that.
Around 10:30, Nick and Dasher return from their movie, Dasher goes STRAIGHT to bed, and Nick, sensing something was wrong asked, "are you upset because I went to the movie and not the potluck?" (we will address that one later) I replied, "No, I am not upset about that." "Then what is wrong?" This is when I know I put Nick in a tough spot. I instantly burst into tears, and blubbered out these words, " I have nothing to wear and I am not going to church. None of my clothes fit; I have gained so much weight, and I just don't have anything to wear." Maybe a little dramatic, but if you have ever been there, then ladies, you know what I was going through.
Well, Nick hates to see me cry. He hates to see me sad. In the nine years we have been married, he has dedicated a part of himself to make ME happy. So, I knew I was crushing him when I just lost it. I asked him, "Now be honest, can you not see the weight gain?" I mean my face alone is ridiculous. Hence why you only ever see pics of my family and none of me. That's right I am the one BEHIND the camera. He honestly said, "no, I don't see it." Right then and there, my heart swelled a ton. This man, oh this man. My knight in shining armor, my one true love, sees me just the way he sees me. The mother of his four children, his best friend, and the hottie he fell in love with so many years ago. I only hope that all my lady friends find their knight too, if not already found.
Okay, back to the original meaning of this post. I know it is hard for some to read these posts of mine. My rantings we shall call them. I find this a place of outlet. My serenity. I feel good after I have done this. Blame it on the FOUR months of grey and rain, blame it on the sun not shining, we could play the blame game all night long, but I am here to admit to myself and readers that I am overweight. Wow, that feels good. No more hiding behind layering pieces, or jackets. No more saying, well on Monday I will start, let me have my last supper. I need to change, and not just for the better, but change everything. I need and want to be there for my children. I need and want to be able to run a flight of stairs, and maybe even run a race someday. I need and want to throw my fat girl clothes away. I don't want to do this because everyone else is, I want to do this beause I want to do this. So, I will be honest and accountable. I will make this happen.
ps I did go to church, but I really and truly would have rather spent the day outside soaking up the sun that made his appearance for mommies day.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
so we read again
Yes, I am here, and yes, I am still on track. I just bumped up my workouts in the morning, so I haven't had time to blog, let alone pay bills online. I have been checking email, and facebook, with the occasional family website, but no time for much more than that.
I have more motivation to get in shape. I just found out that one of my bestest friends got engaged. I am so happy for her. (she shall go unnamed for now) but anyway, I want to look smokin hot for her wedding! Yes, I will let her be the bride, and take no attention from her, but I want the stares, and maybe a whistle too. he he he...... Okay, so we just bumped it up another notch. How are you coming?
I have more motivation to get in shape. I just found out that one of my bestest friends got engaged. I am so happy for her. (she shall go unnamed for now) but anyway, I want to look smokin hot for her wedding! Yes, I will let her be the bride, and take no attention from her, but I want the stares, and maybe a whistle too. he he he...... Okay, so we just bumped it up another notch. How are you coming?
Monday, March 29, 2010
I was deeply hurt and betrayed today, and while this was happening to me, someone else was getting hurt too. I am so sorry for what I said, and who I said it to. Sometimes we just need a place to vent and that is where it should stay right? I was hurt and I hurt someone too and that is what makes me feel horrible. I am a nice person, but sometimes we just have moments of anger, jealousy and all the other evil emotions that come with it. We are human, we make mistakes, and we should forgive when those mistakes are made. This was such a crappy day, and I guess from now on, I will keep my "crappiness" to myself. This sucks so freaking bad too. oh, I am so angry right now, and I don't like feeling like this. I just want to go back and erase this. Not to many things in my book qualify for a do over, but this is one of them. Please forgive me, I am so sorry. +
Saturday, March 6, 2010
it just keeps coming
So, yesterday was a whirlwind. The day started off at the usual time, blah, but just got crazy after that. I have found that in my life, we use the word CRAZY a lot. Anyway, yesterday was the last day of Spirit week. Check our family blog soon! I had signed up to be a volunteer at the FUN RUN, and my start time was 8 o'clock. No big deal right? Well, I thought I would be the nice wife, and have everyone and everything ready for the day, so Nick could just come up to watch the kids run, and just enjoy his time home with the two younger ones. So, I got Dasher up and off to school, myself showered, dressed and fixed up cute in my "jogging" clothes (it is a fun run) Lucy fed, and dressed with hair fixed, Bosston put together, and Emmah ready for the day with back pack and snack ready. This was a feat, because she is usaully asleep until about 8:30 and by now it is only 7:20!!!! (she was grumpy, but then again, what's new?)
So, I had to be there at 8:00 and Dasher's class was set to race at 8:20, and all Nick had to do was get himself ready. Aren't I the best wife ever? I really do try to make things run smoothly on his days off, and I try not to "nag" so much. In our nine years of marriage, I have found that if you just do your part without nagging, our men do get a clue and appreciate us when were gone. Okay, on with my day. TEN ROUNDS of the same songs, and marking tally's for the kids laps, I was exhausted. My head was hurting, my hands were aching from clapping so much, but I was done. I had just "volunteered" 8 hours of my beautiful sunny Friday, to my kids' school. I could've gone for a ride, or a run, or worked in my yard, but I chose to "give back" to McBride!! This is really a great school, and I proud to be a part of it. So many of the schools are failing right now with curriculum, funds and lack of support, but I know McBride is doing the best for our children right now. I am proud to have my kids go there, and I look forward to next year!!!
So, with my exercising. I counted the number of times I jogged with the kids and not mention the fun trip last night to Home Depot. I was super excited about that. We got this awesome shelf for our food storage, totes for food to go in, paint for our porch, and new rug for our front step, and Nick got this new screwdriver. It feels good to be prepared and productive; not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well. Nick and I have been wanting to get our food storage up to par, and now we are finally doing it. We also priced things for our garden: stakes, trellis for our beans, and also more seed. I know this blog doesn't have much to do about my 5k plan, but I feel it is important to let people know that we need to get our lives in order, and food storage plays a HUGE part in that.
So, on the menu today....... house work (boring) but then we are going to work in our front yard. Right now, the back yard needs WAY too much work and one day is not going to cut it. We have plans to put in some new flowers and some ground cover in between our blueberries. Also, start getting the porch ready to paint. I love trips to the store to buy palnt life, I just love life growing in my yard too. We need some more curb appeal. Adios!
So, I had to be there at 8:00 and Dasher's class was set to race at 8:20, and all Nick had to do was get himself ready. Aren't I the best wife ever? I really do try to make things run smoothly on his days off, and I try not to "nag" so much. In our nine years of marriage, I have found that if you just do your part without nagging, our men do get a clue and appreciate us when were gone. Okay, on with my day. TEN ROUNDS of the same songs, and marking tally's for the kids laps, I was exhausted. My head was hurting, my hands were aching from clapping so much, but I was done. I had just "volunteered" 8 hours of my beautiful sunny Friday, to my kids' school. I could've gone for a ride, or a run, or worked in my yard, but I chose to "give back" to McBride!! This is really a great school, and I proud to be a part of it. So many of the schools are failing right now with curriculum, funds and lack of support, but I know McBride is doing the best for our children right now. I am proud to have my kids go there, and I look forward to next year!!!
So, with my exercising. I counted the number of times I jogged with the kids and not mention the fun trip last night to Home Depot. I was super excited about that. We got this awesome shelf for our food storage, totes for food to go in, paint for our porch, and new rug for our front step, and Nick got this new screwdriver. It feels good to be prepared and productive; not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well. Nick and I have been wanting to get our food storage up to par, and now we are finally doing it. We also priced things for our garden: stakes, trellis for our beans, and also more seed. I know this blog doesn't have much to do about my 5k plan, but I feel it is important to let people know that we need to get our lives in order, and food storage plays a HUGE part in that.
So, on the menu today....... house work (boring) but then we are going to work in our front yard. Right now, the back yard needs WAY too much work and one day is not going to cut it. We have plans to put in some new flowers and some ground cover in between our blueberries. Also, start getting the porch ready to paint. I love trips to the store to buy palnt life, I just love life growing in my yard too. We need some more curb appeal. Adios!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Oy Vay!
How funny it is that day three of my event was Ca-Razy!! All, is well, we stuck to it though. I know, I know, this blog is later in the day, but yet again, Lucy was up WAY before she should've been. My food choices are just getting better and better and that silly "hungry" feeling is not as intense now. I am thinking that body already knew she was out of shape and is just jumping for joy that I am taking better care of her!!!!!! Whole wheat toast with apricot preserves is wonderful by the way, and the Dannon light and fit yogurt with 80 calories are yummo also. They are just the perfect amount too, not too much, not too little, just right.
So, I had asparagus yet again with my dinner last night. It is on sale right now, so I am taking advantage and it is so yummy just cooked in the oven at 415 for about 15 min. Just enough to keep its bite and flavor. So, my ride was good, but I am thinking I don't want to overdo it, so I pedaled at a more normal pace and covered a normal amount of terrority. I rode for 6 miles in 23 minutes and did yoga with my WII fit. It is not the same as a class, but I just saw in the paper a new studio offering classes at only $5. I am going to look into it, to see if the instructor knows what she is doing. So, other than that, my night was topped off with some lady friends at a haunted resturant for dessert to celebrate a birthday... good times. I love the support I am getting from kmy kids, hubby and friends...
So, I had asparagus yet again with my dinner last night. It is on sale right now, so I am taking advantage and it is so yummy just cooked in the oven at 415 for about 15 min. Just enough to keep its bite and flavor. So, my ride was good, but I am thinking I don't want to overdo it, so I pedaled at a more normal pace and covered a normal amount of terrority. I rode for 6 miles in 23 minutes and did yoga with my WII fit. It is not the same as a class, but I just saw in the paper a new studio offering classes at only $5. I am going to look into it, to see if the instructor knows what she is doing. So, other than that, my night was topped off with some lady friends at a haunted resturant for dessert to celebrate a birthday... good times. I love the support I am getting from kmy kids, hubby and friends...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
It really does feel great!
So, first and foremost, I apologize for this blog being a little late. Lucy woke up before she was supposed too, and it just didn't get done. Nonetheless, here I am.
Okay, yesterday I did the run, and if felt great. It was a little misty outside, which I think made it easier to get the job done. I was going to go up to the track, but the hs was having track practice, and I am just not ready to show off my mad skills. Instead, I went over to one of our parks, and ran their nature trail. It was nice. This was the first time I had done it, so the scenery was fresh and new. I was thankful that I went. I started out by jogging then walking and did the whole trail. I am not sure exactly how long it was, but I still enjoyed it. At times there was mud, inclines, and just nice things to look at. I am also thankful to those who did have their dogs and were picking up the poop. I was a little frustrated because there is a leash law, but these dogs were just running with the wind, and at one time one was at my heels. USE A LEASH, next time I might not be as nice. Yeah, not an animal person.
So, this is day three. I am feeling good, and I feel that since I am doing most of workout outside, I won't get burned out like I usually do. So, today is yoga and a bike ride!!!!!
Okay, yesterday I did the run, and if felt great. It was a little misty outside, which I think made it easier to get the job done. I was going to go up to the track, but the hs was having track practice, and I am just not ready to show off my mad skills. Instead, I went over to one of our parks, and ran their nature trail. It was nice. This was the first time I had done it, so the scenery was fresh and new. I was thankful that I went. I started out by jogging then walking and did the whole trail. I am not sure exactly how long it was, but I still enjoyed it. At times there was mud, inclines, and just nice things to look at. I am also thankful to those who did have their dogs and were picking up the poop. I was a little frustrated because there is a leash law, but these dogs were just running with the wind, and at one time one was at my heels. USE A LEASH, next time I might not be as nice. Yeah, not an animal person.
So, this is day three. I am feeling good, and I feel that since I am doing most of workout outside, I won't get burned out like I usually do. So, today is yoga and a bike ride!!!!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
One day down
Yesterday, was a rather productive day. I felt I got a lot accomplished, and even had time to squeeze in a movie. I did, however forget that it was Monday, (family night) and that we were in charge, so when Nick got home, I was outta here. Instead of the jog I actually switched with today, and went for an awesome bike ride. I really love riding my bike, but I like it even more when I am pushing myself even harder. So, yesterday, I rode for 20 minutes, which doesn't seem like a lot of time, but you can cover a lot of ground, drum roll please...... 14 miles. I know, crazy! I love my like bike odometer, it measures distance, time and calories burned. I did ride for more than 20 minutes, because I was enjoying myself so much, that I forgot to look at the time. But not too much more, about 27 min. Anyway, I kept my food to good portions, and good choices too. I cleaned my house, folded FIVE loads of laundry ( I don't like doing laundry on the weekends) talked to my mom again-finalized their plans to coming out this way, and made dinner, had family night ugh that was exhausting, and finished the night watching, Chuck with Nick. It was a good day, and I am looking forward to today also.
So, here I am, 6:40 the next morning, and since my parents are coming in THREE weeks, it pushes me even more to feel that much better about myself. Thank you to all of my support from you ladies, I really do appreciate your comments.......Until tomorrow!
So, here I am, 6:40 the next morning, and since my parents are coming in THREE weeks, it pushes me even more to feel that much better about myself. Thank you to all of my support from you ladies, I really do appreciate your comments.......Until tomorrow!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Couch To 5k
A week ago, Nick's aunt posted this website entitled, Couch to 5k. It is a basic, easy plan, to get yourself OFF the couch, and ready to jog a 5k in 7 weeks. No tricks, just rebooting your body to get in shape. She says you will be able to "jog" a 5k, which means a light run that you are still able to hold a conversation while doing. So, I said to myself, "I can do this. I just found out, that I really do enjoy running, graceful or not." So, last week, with Nick working so much overtime, I was not able to get outside in the daytime. It is really hard to run and push that bulky jogger too. So, this week, sun or no sun, I am doing this. I will be posting each day, around this time 6:40 am what I plan to do for the day. Comment or not, this is mostly for me to keep track for myself my food, water and exercise. Don't worry, I am sure I will be able to find some humor is getting skinny.
I am still debating if I will post any pictures. To be honest, I am embarrassed about how heavy I have gotten. Even at 9 months pregnant, I know I never weighed this much. I have taken pics of myself, so I can document it, but I just don't know how brave I am to let anyone else see them. Who knows, maybe here in a little while I will just do.Go NIKE right?
Okay, so for day 1: one mile jog/ walk. This means you complete a mile by jogging for 2 min and then walking for 1 min and so on until one mile is completed. Then your done for the day. Well, I will still be walking my 4 miles too (with kids) but the jogging will come later(without kids) I also am going to try and find a different cardio session that I like better. The Biggest Loser is a good one, I just don't like it so much.
Okay followers.... say, "good-bye" to the fat girl, and lock your hubbies and boyfriends up, because soon, you will be saying, "hello" or "what the crap, Heidi, you look amazing" to the skinny and more confident, happier and sexier, mom, wife person I know run on sentence that could just keep running on!!!!!!
I am still debating if I will post any pictures. To be honest, I am embarrassed about how heavy I have gotten. Even at 9 months pregnant, I know I never weighed this much. I have taken pics of myself, so I can document it, but I just don't know how brave I am to let anyone else see them. Who knows, maybe here in a little while I will just do.Go NIKE right?
Okay, so for day 1: one mile jog/ walk. This means you complete a mile by jogging for 2 min and then walking for 1 min and so on until one mile is completed. Then your done for the day. Well, I will still be walking my 4 miles too (with kids) but the jogging will come later(without kids) I also am going to try and find a different cardio session that I like better. The Biggest Loser is a good one, I just don't like it so much.
Okay followers.... say, "good-bye" to the fat girl, and lock your hubbies and boyfriends up, because soon, you will be saying, "hello" or "what the crap, Heidi, you look amazing" to the skinny and more confident, happier and sexier, mom, wife person I know run on sentence that could just keep running on!!!!!!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Ugh
Oh, I am telling you, sometimes, I just want to scream. Why is it that, no matter if I Nick is around or not, the kids ALWAYS call my name first.
"Mom, I need something to eat!" "Mom, I don't know what to wear!" "Mom, where are the coloring crayons, and can we watch a movie?"
Uh, hello, your father is right there, ask him. Can't you all see that I am right in the middle of sorting, starting, and folding laundry, not mention doing the dishes, while sweeping the floor, working or school spirit stuff for next week, so you can all show how much spirit your mom still has, and yes, I have already worked out with the biggest loser for an hour this morning.
WHY WHY WHY? I just don't get it. And there Nick sits, watching the stupid olympic coverage. I can not wait for these dumb games to be over. Call me unpatriotic, but really, I know there are better things or at least more things worth MY time to be covering.
My time, what is that? Yes, I have a great husband, don't get me wrong, but I think he takes his "DAYS OFF" a little too seriously.
just venting, no worries, we are still madly in love, we just all have those days, and I feel, it is going to be one of the weekends... not mention, I feel rather fat today too.
"Mom, I need something to eat!" "Mom, I don't know what to wear!" "Mom, where are the coloring crayons, and can we watch a movie?"
Uh, hello, your father is right there, ask him. Can't you all see that I am right in the middle of sorting, starting, and folding laundry, not mention doing the dishes, while sweeping the floor, working or school spirit stuff for next week, so you can all show how much spirit your mom still has, and yes, I have already worked out with the biggest loser for an hour this morning.
WHY WHY WHY? I just don't get it. And there Nick sits, watching the stupid olympic coverage. I can not wait for these dumb games to be over. Call me unpatriotic, but really, I know there are better things or at least more things worth MY time to be covering.
My time, what is that? Yes, I have a great husband, don't get me wrong, but I think he takes his "DAYS OFF" a little too seriously.
just venting, no worries, we are still madly in love, we just all have those days, and I feel, it is going to be one of the weekends... not mention, I feel rather fat today too.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I need a little ME time
Holy toledo, it has been a really long time since this blog felt some love. Nonetheless, I find myself so wrapped in being a mom and a wife, that I forget that I can be just ME. I can't even begin to update or to catch up, so we can just say scratch it and start anew.
I can not believe that I have been married for nine years, and coming up in October, our oldest son will be baptized. Am I getting old, or what? For pictures, you can just check our family blog. I am going to try and just let this be a place to express myself in words, and not photos.
I am feeling a little sluggish. Maybe it is the weather lately, or the never ending list of "to do's" but I just can't seem to shake it. I had been working out pretty faithfully, but as of about two weeks ago, (while doing lunges) my knee just -I don't know how to explain- but just started hurting really bad, and now, everytime I get into my workouts, it does it again. It hurts bad, and I am usually one to work through the pain, but this I can't. So, I am at a crossroads. I could go to the doctor, brace it, or try something new. Nick says all of the above, but I HATE going to the doctor. I am done having babies, so I am done going to the doctor:)
I was thinking karate.... water aerobics....bike riding.... something that I HAVE to love though, or I will just stop doing it and get fat. I was really just starting to enjoy running too, and now, I am taking a break, that's right a break. I don't want to give it up yet, so until I get my knee checked out, we are on a break. (I know most of you are hearing Ross Gellar screaming that to Rachel Green.. that's okay that is what I am thinking too)
Okay, motherly duties, and hungry tummies are calling my name....
To my readers, I bid you good night and happy blogging Heidi
I can not believe that I have been married for nine years, and coming up in October, our oldest son will be baptized. Am I getting old, or what? For pictures, you can just check our family blog. I am going to try and just let this be a place to express myself in words, and not photos.
I am feeling a little sluggish. Maybe it is the weather lately, or the never ending list of "to do's" but I just can't seem to shake it. I had been working out pretty faithfully, but as of about two weeks ago, (while doing lunges) my knee just -I don't know how to explain- but just started hurting really bad, and now, everytime I get into my workouts, it does it again. It hurts bad, and I am usually one to work through the pain, but this I can't. So, I am at a crossroads. I could go to the doctor, brace it, or try something new. Nick says all of the above, but I HATE going to the doctor. I am done having babies, so I am done going to the doctor:)
I was thinking karate.... water aerobics....bike riding.... something that I HAVE to love though, or I will just stop doing it and get fat. I was really just starting to enjoy running too, and now, I am taking a break, that's right a break. I don't want to give it up yet, so until I get my knee checked out, we are on a break. (I know most of you are hearing Ross Gellar screaming that to Rachel Green.. that's okay that is what I am thinking too)
Okay, motherly duties, and hungry tummies are calling my name....
To my readers, I bid you good night and happy blogging Heidi
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